idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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