i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
