We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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