Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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