I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
