So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
