They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
