Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
