So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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