i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
