who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
