you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think people are normalizing furries
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
