I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
