He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
