Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
