Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
