We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
