I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
