Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
