Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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