I'm passing your future prison.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
