It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
