The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
