I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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