I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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