pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
