She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize