I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
