I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
