Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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