the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize