I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
