It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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