Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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