I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
