So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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