This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My life is pants optional.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
