Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
