Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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