More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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