The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
