But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
