With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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