Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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