guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
do nipples grow back?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
