Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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