I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize