why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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