I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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