Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
