If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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