my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize