Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
