Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
