How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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