Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His hands were made for my vagina.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
