i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
