You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
