I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Randomize
