CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
