He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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