If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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