check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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