marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
