What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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