Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
